Yesterday she came home
with stars in her eyes
hung in the moon by a boy
while you were in the clouds
chasing dollar-sign dreams
today when she wanted her daddy
to comfort and hold her tight
because “the whole world shattered”
you weren’t there, didn’t notice
she was… drifting away… overcast.
@laurie kolp
Linked to dVerse Open Link Night where you will find some of the best poetry on the web.
oh man…this hurts…as a dad that works in the evenings…i miss some of these moments myself…and it stings…
I’ll be there for her, I promise…
My workaholic brother was just preaching this to our niece, “you’ll wish you could get these moments back.”
Oh beautiful! And yes, it hurts…
Laurie…you always manage to hit me where it hurts. I am a serious victim of a family business…even when we do find time to be together, it dominates ALL. Growing up, my dad ALWAYS worked…nights, evenings, weekends…and, like most children, I found myself doing the same…but no more. If we don’t learn from our own lessons, then it’s a terrible shame indeed.
You portray this issue very directly and eloquently. Very fine poem.
Awww… they nearly always want one or the other’s shoulder to cry on. What a shame she didn’t have her dad’s. Your prose has a way of always getting right in there and …shaking up the underlying emotions in us all.
So sad, that first stanza hit me like a sledgehammer. Great poem.
ugh…the world of a teen shatters so quickly and if dad were around it would help…a lot…sad
oh wow…I love the way you expressed it…I’ve been there myself
gutt wrenchingly beautiful Laurie
melancholic and longing for another chance
poigniancy and fine delivery shine thru the dark
This is such a great poem. So much said in not a lot of words, with a lasting theme doomed to be repeated until some one cares enough to be there for another.
That is one thing I never want to become working my guts out and miss out. Captured the moment wonderfully.
So prevalent. The job becomes defining, and the parent is lost in the details. The family he/she want to support is left slipping and sliding without a foundation. Wonderfully penned! Thank you.
this is so sad.. an absentee father or mother can’t replace the moments lost
That’s sad. Chasing dollar sign dreams is common — the emphasis of having more just to have enough, “but I’m doing it for her”, so much that it takes too much priority and what matters is seen as trivial and put aside. Good write.
this hit where it hurts
too often, in our absence, we miss the key moments that can profoundly impact our children’s lives — such a delicate balance, the dance of time…
a sad reality of life …happened here too but hasten to add both my children now have a fab relationship with their Father ( who ironically now is at home all the time ) and yet they are the ones away ….loved your poem very much thank you for sharing x
Melancholy expression of too common a disconnection. Well penned ~ Rose
Such a simple ideal… smashed to pieces. Very well expressed, even though life’s like that. Sometimes poetry won’t do, but great write nonetheless.
The disconnect…a grievous thing, unintentional though it may be. Few things break the heart more solemnly than to know we missed such moments, to know we couldn’t help, or smile, when these people of our heart gained new ground…or lost it, as we once did…
yikes, mama earth better tell papa sun that his little girl needs his light. Hope you are well. Glad the chapbook made it to you.
This seems to be the reality of too many these days. It is sad and I’m not sure I want to live among the repercussions of it. But with words like these, with the sharing of such stories maybe things will turn around.
Nicely double-played image. And Laurie, I really enjoyed your feature over at Imaginary Garden with Real Toads.
Thank you, Mark… glad you liked it.
Dear Laurie
I could feel the pain… of loneliness.. and I relate to this very much.. loved your lines…
‘you weren’t there, didn’t notice’
thanks for sharing…
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/11/whispers-fire-faayar-faayaar-dedicated.html
At Twitter @VerseEveryDay
heartfelt words.
light and love on you, smiles.
keep it up.