She came home with stars in her eyes
twirling her hair, a dreamy smile
out of touch; I stadium waved hello.
A boy from church had told her hello
on the school bus where their eyes
met a split second in time, she smiled
as she told me the story and I smiled
because love always starts with hello
a skip beat of the heart, locking eyes.
Hello teen years, I smiled then rolled my eyes.
~
I am so happy to share with you the significance of this poem to me. It won 1st place in Robert Lee Brewer’s Poetic Asides Tritina Form Challenge and was published in Writer’s Digest, May/June 2012 issue.
Thanks Samuel Peralta (Semaphore) at dVerse FormForAll for giving me the opportunity to share it with you.
wow…very cool on winning the challenge….congrat laurie – that’s awesome.. and a wonderful tritina it is….first love…nice…remember those hello’s and split-second eyes meeting so well…lovely…
Laurie, I loved this one when you submitted, adored it when you won, and am even more touched by it now, as my 9-year-old speeds toward those years.
Thank you for this lovely poem, Laurie. It is true, it is you, and I would have picked it too.
Lori–I love this. Great take on the form, and simply a wonderful poem.
Way to go Laurie!~! Well done. The subject matter made me smile as my own teen speaks more and more about boys that are ‘hot’ (I too roll my eyes and have a little …gulp) lol
Cute poem. I remember those days and at times I still have them.
love does always start with a hello and it goes from there….it is fun to watch loves first blooming too and those that recieve it a little high on love as welll…smiles.
This is a great poem. Love the rolling eyes at the end. Oh, the drama of teen love!
Perfectly captures “puppy love” from both generation’s view point. I love the “roll of the eyes”… we do that, don’t we!
This is awesome. It takes me back in time, and it transports into the future.
Absolutely no doubt this one was a winner Laurie! A flawless read that has me doing a double-take realizing my own little one is about to venture to junior high…eye rolling…AND heart stopping!
So wonderful you won one of his challenges. And this has me SMILING!
Very sweet poem and well done. Congrats on form. K.
Sorry I am on iPhone in public place . Meant congrats on prize!
Love this story, Laurie, and you worked the form to perfection. So true to life. Oh, those teen-age years. Glad I don’t have to live through them again OR go through them again with my daughters!! (LOL)
I’m smiling too–but I think the eye roll shows great self-restraint. This really rolls along beautifully, No surprize it won a challenge–congrats, Laurie.
Read the poem and loved it, then read the intro for its prize and publication; wow, that’s why the form, for you, is secondary, hardly noticed; great tenderness here; then again, most all of your poetics are winners.
I smiled and rolled my eyes along…Nice form and congrats on winning this challenge ~
I sure remember this one. Very warm, intimate, and true. Very nice, Laurie.
beautiful telling, quite delicate in your treatment with the form. Lovely ~ Rose
I love these little snippets you share about your children…brings back memories of my two girls when they were that age… Congratulations too on winning the award, Laurie..it is a charming write…so real.
I remember. Thanks for the smiles you brought.
Laurie, I didn’t know about this, and I am so glad, then, to have chosen tritinas to showcase, because I got to read your prize-winning poem, and everyone else got the chance too! Congratulations!
congrats for that….and this such a cool sweet poem….
loved loved it!!
Well done in your success with this lovely dreamy poem
x
Oh love this… took me bacl to not only children’s teen years but mine as well! Very dreamy .
I remember this in WD, really is very good and a great example of what lengths this form can aspire to. Nicely done Laurie
Enjoyed this enormously – especially the roll of the eyes!
What a fabulous poem Laurie. Thanks for sharing. If only …
Congratulations! I absolutely love this, and I can see why it won. Wonderful. You make this form seem so natural.
And it is so good. I loved every second of this. Congrats!
Lovely poem! My daughter is nearing this age and I’m dreading it!
Meeting the eye and winning a challenge, how nice! It would be such a thrill and a great learning experience!
Hank
This is SO good! I love “stadium waved hello.”
I remember! And am so glad you got to share it in another stadium Laurie, it’s a cool poem!
http://leapinelephants.blogspot.ca/2012/08/desperately-missing-you-who-are-gone.html
Very nicely done, and well worth the award. Congrats, Laurie!
ugh, dreading those teen years a bit. great poem – so cool about it being published with Writer’s Digest. also great to see you at The River!
Young love (or infatuation)…
You captured the moment so sweetly. I quite enjoyed the way you brought it home in the last line.