energy-efficient light
recharging under winter’s dim veil–
sun’s funereal march
gray and white
dismal colors, mood’s chilly mask
covers in slush
until the sun
shines amid a blue backdrop
of burning gloom
hope blooms as
children’s laughter fills the air,
their energy effecient
*
Poetic inspiration: dVerse- FormForAll: La Lune (Collum) w/ Semaphore
Brrr….k.
bRRR…
I like all of these, but my favorite is the last. One cannot help but be hopeful when one hears the laughter of children!
So true!
smiles…are children ever energy effecient….? smiles…love their overbursting energy..my son always had power for three…i always suspected he’s driven by some atomar power generator..smiles…great winter thoughts…i have candles burning…energy effecient for sure..smiles
sounds like my youngest… I love candles.
ha…children are like littel energizer cells themselves….non stop until they drop….i like how you shift the mood in this…opening bleak and letting it build…sun’s funereal…so close to sons funeral…
thanks, Brian… children definitely keep me moving, warm me up
We have the same landscape here ~ Like the children’s laughter in the end ~
Loved yours, Grace.
Beautiful verses!
Especially the last stanza is too good
I appreciate your visit.
Sounds like your winter is kind of like ours. Recently the sun has been obvious only by its absence in our sky. I’m really looking forward to it breaking through the ‘burning gloom.’
Every year about this time I’m reminded why I don’t like winter…
Ah, great turn at the end. Children’s laughter can bring springtime to the gloomiest winter day. Wonderful work!
Thank you, Nico!
Funny how you point to the gloom of winter while I went with the chilly freedom of it. Nice take on form
I noticed that, too!
I laughed at the last one, that was funny and cute. Also like the contrast between light and heavy, dark and light.
Thank you!
love writings about kids
Oooh does sound chilly but glad for the last stanza, children are always filled with the energy to keep your heart warm. Nice
I agree, i love hearing the laughter of children.
there’s a chill
perking hairs on my arms
as I read
A lovely verse. There definitely something about children’s laughter that can dull the gloomy mood that winter tends to bring.
Each and every one just perfect, Laurie! I’m sitting at -23 and feeling every moment…ice and snow included…brrr is right! Personally, I am not energy efficient!
I love how the light changes throughout the progression, from the cold artificial light of the opening lune, to the snow-and-cloud-reflected grays, to the breaking sun and finally the light of the children’s laughter!
Oh, thanks Sam… your comment means so much to me.
I have to echo Sam’s comment…I felt the same thing…the gloom of winter, dim and gray and then ending with the burst of children’s energy. That’ll shake you out of any doldrums!
I echo Sam’s comments too – love the light shifts
like the children, this is packed with energy! love your diversity. dim veil, chilly mask, blue backdrop. wonderful, Lori.
hmmmm, I would never think of my children being energy efficient — just the opposite — they burn it with a carelessness I envy.
But I love how you let them bring light to the Winter. Nicely done.
Very nice Laurie.
gray and white
dismal colors, mood’s chilly mask
covers in slush
Somewhat a dismal picture of winter’s cold. The mood’s may be down but cleverly saved with the children’s shrieks of laughter. Nicely Laurie!
Hank
….gray and white…a splash of color is what you need!! soon there will be..:)
I especially liked the opening lines. The whole, though, very evocative.
“until the sun
shines amid a blue backdrop
of burning gloom”
mmmh… just wonderful, laurie
Love the last one!
I have my 4-year old grandson a couple of days a week. Your last Lune speaks great truth!
…i really like the prigression of thoughts in your lunes… from a dark, hard start of some winter dilemas to a lighter tone of hope/s for spring & summer’s arrival… very elegant li’l offerings…. smiles…
I love the cold, bleak winters…partly just out of contrariness I suppose,
I also like your description of it, and of the hope of coming spring.
Clever how you come back to “energy efficient”! Each of these stands on its own, and yet they also work together. The last is my favorite. Thank you.
My favorite lines come from the second and third lunes. Well done, although I’m no judge. Beautiful work here
Thank God for kids and their boundless energy. I have SAD (one of the most descriptive acronyms in psychiatry!) and watching children make snow people out back really went a long way toward cheering me up. Thanks for your sweet words on my blog, too. Loved this. Amy