Slap me blue, dust me with gasps
of ecstasy. In an instant, I’ll
grow wings and fly into oblivion.
What a blessed ride it will be,
the first time a knock of the knees
a wobble unbalanced, a snare drum
beating within; your kiss, do I
deserve such a rapturous thrill?
*
Prompt inspirations-
dVersePoets:PPoetics: An Evening of Short Verse- Fred has us writing shorter poems.
The Sunday Whirl 98: blue, blessed, deserves, first, gasps, instant, slap, snare, dust, unbalance, ride, wings
Perhaps you do, should this short puff of passion be true. A glorious poem that crosses violent music, jazz, I think, with a kiss!
Excellent! Really sets the mood. Smiles.
interesting blend laurie….the slap me blue is an interesting contrast to the passion…certainly there is a little violence in sex as long as it doesnt cross the line eh? leaves me pondering a bit how to take this…smiles.
Actually, I combined prompts with another site that gives us a list of words to use, and one of them was blue. = )
excellent verse Laurie, love the choices you went with here, very strong, the use of oblivion, knocking, snare drums and rapture. Love it. Thanks
so much in a kiss…i think it was marylin monroe who said: if it is the right person, he only has to kiss you on the forehead and the world changes forever…something along these lines…smiles
found the quote….smiles
“The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.”
― Marilyn Monroe
Well, well, well… this was a rollicking, Moll Flanders kind of piece!
Short and snappy, with a little bit of a thrilling kiss ~ Good weaving of words Laurie ~
‘dust me with gasps of ecstasy’ – just love that, Laurie! K
Absolutely love this. The first line is awesome, and I like the “knock of the knees” line as well. “Gaps of ecstasy” – that part made me think for a second. Nicely done.
Oh indeed what a kiss can do… sigh!!! Very much enjoyed!
Once I’d gotten over the shock of the first three words, I really enjoyed this. This kind of sensual poetry is definitely better with a less-is-more approach, suggestion being much more enticing than blatant exposure
Or maybe I’m just an old-fashioned kind of guy?
Oh,baby!
Very “tight” poetry. Plays like a song with strong beat. And so condensed story. Very good.
Ooh wow Laurie! Oh that I could find such a man!
Anna
]
I reeled along with the pleasure of this. Wow, Laurie.
Love this poem it was a real thrill. Made my evening.
Yes, yes, yes you deserve such a rapturous thrill!
Nice use of contrast, to me any way. I really enjoyed your treatment of the short verse. Slapping blue gave me a palet of visuals. Very nice.
‘course you do!
You managed to capture the thrill of a first kiss. There’s a ‘zing’ in reading this.
This engendered a hearty woot!
…i’ll grow wings & fly into oblivion… that alone set the entire mood Laurie… excellent… smiles…
Passion encapsulated in short verse! Enjoyed this write!
You can say plenty in a few lines!
This is great. I just love your opening line(s): “Slap me blue, dust me with gasps of ecstasy.” I can feel the passion.
For having written this poem you do deserve such a rapturous thrill!
We all deserve this!
So it isn’t just the quiet ones then…?
Yes!
Clever spin on a kiss…!!
Sometimes the words take us to unknown or unknowing places. Perhaps that is why we have this love affair with them. I like “slap me blue,”
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2013/03/02/reserved-flight/
Passionate write
heh-heh … glorious ~ a smiling poem
Sounds like QUITE a first kiss!!
Of course you do. Now we are all worked up!
I love the phrase “slap me blue”, nice use of an impossible word for me. Well done, Laurie.
Pamela
Oh, my. Blushing. This is fantastic, Laurie. You had me at “slap me blue.”
Lovely whirl Laurie. I love the short conciseness of the first kiss, but I guess it really is like a first kiss, isn’t it? Nicely whirled. (I’m always droning on forever.)
It is fine to be back- and I love this!
Nicely done. And in a short form too, no mean feat with Wordles.
Laurie, you’ve used the words in a rapturous way!
But of course! brisk and breezy and brilliant..
Enjoyed your write!
yes, you do!
Oh! Yes!
This was really sexy and a fun read. I think that using a shorter form added to the thrill.
A sultry scamper through the words, Laurie. Playful and steamy.
Wow! Sorry I missed this – delighted I found it – nice piece to read before bed
Yes for those who said it was a ‘rollick’ I agree !